Friday, 20 June 2014

At last - a real policy from Labour

On Twitter yesterday we finally found out that sort of policies that are really running through Ed Miliband's head.

No Job Seekers Allowance for 18-21 year olds who are thick and lazy? No not that one. Or for people with parents on higher rate tax? No not that one either. How about the promise to freeze energy prices? Nope!

Ed's latest brainwave is to give everybody a free owl...

Party insiders quickly moved to delete the 'Harry Potter policy' - and claimed their account had been hacked. Well they would wouldn't they?

Baby barn owls cost around £80 each. To provide one for all 63 million people in the country - assuming the policy is not devolved - would cost the Treasury some £5billion a year, or around five per cent of the NHS's entire budget. We could always fund it by a tax on bank bonuses, of by selling off the gold reserves. Oh, hang on! They already did that.

A Tory source said it was unfair for everybody to be given a free owl - and called for the policy to be means tested so only the poorest would benefit. The source said it was 'just basic fairness. Why should the state provide owls to people who can afford to buy their own owl?'

And just when you thought it was a joke, they followed it up with this :

See? Another broken Labour promise. No wonder even his own party think Miliband's not fit to be PM...


  1. I don't want an owl- I want a ferret.

  2. Sorry but this policy does not apply to the colonies...

  3. I don't want an owl either I would like a mongoose, and if the mongoose is not going to be forth coming under Labour I shall vote whichever party will provide me with a mongoose.
    One wonders if Millipede has been smoking the wacky backy of late.
    Still I suppose we should be grateful he hasn't tried to implement an elephant for everyone policy. The Dung alone.....phewwwwweee

  4. Ferrets have been banned in this colony- that's why I wan't a ferret.

  5. This is surely a "mouse-ist" policy - all those owls must be fed and my friends in the mouse community are fearful of inroads into their numbers.
    Shame on Labour for this discriminatory policy against mice!

  6. Off subject - but it's my blog!

    The best comment ever about last night's footie from the BBC this morning : "If England are on the next plain home then don;t despair because there's alway the 2106 Euros to look forward to and Uruguay aren't playing in that!"

    Don't know why not - Israel are in the Eurovision Song Contest...

  7. Oh I'm so gutted.

    Believe me, for me that was it. The real politik. Free owls - an inspiration. THE policy that would decide the election.

    Labour had my vote. I would have put up posters, bullied my relatives, used their postal votes and it would have all gone to Ed & Labour.

    But now there's going to be no cute fluffy little owl. The devastation is hard to bear.


    Suppose it's back to UKIP then.

  8. Mr D, you say you found this policy on Twitter- you sure you didn't see it on Twit to woo.....


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