Sunday, 17 February 2013

Ratshitter Rap 2 - Judgement Day

Here it is! The one you've all been waiting for...

Following the (un)popularity of my 2010 offering, the Ratshitter Rap, my good friend ChasC has sent me an update to commemorate the passing of the 'chief shepherd of the one true church on Earth' as one archbishop so modestly put it.



And just in case you want to sing along, here's the words...

When I got the job I thought it would be fun
And you gotta admit that I’ve had a good run
I liked being Pope ‘cos I can’t be wrong
But I really didn’t think I would last this long
I’ve given it a shot but it’s time to go
Why I took it on I don’t really know!
It’s worn me down and it’s taken it’s toll
So it’s time to put me feet up before I’m too old

I tried technology to ease the load
But all that I got was a load of trolls
Then I got a tweet from a bloke called God
Said “Take it easy, Benny ‘cos it’s time to go”
I wanted to argue but it did no good
You can’t argue with God but I wish you could
Me work isn’t finished yet there’s lots to do
There’s a load more money I could take from you!

Ain’t gonna go without putting up a fight
Gotta see an expert ‘bout me pension rights
There ain’t no precedent for paying off a Pope
So they’ll hang themselves if they get enough rope
Gotta get a nice house, gotta get a loada money
And I know where the secrets are if they get funny
There’s things that I know they don’t want me to tell
If I play me cards right I could do quite well

They’re gonna need my help to find a replacement
Never mind a conclave down in the basement
Embrace technology you can’t go wrong
Just mail yer CV to pontiff.com
So fare thee well and I wish you luck
I’ve done my bit so I couldn’t give a fuck
You’ll do better than me I really do hope
I’ll follow you on line at compare-a-pope!


I could perhaps suggest an improvement in verse 2, line 4 :
Said "Bugger off, Benny you're a useless sod!" but then I didn't write it...

14 comments:

  1. Archbishop of Cunterbury17 February 2013 08:59

    The Romans had a system for dealing with heretical bastards like you. It was called crucifixion!

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  2. It seems there is actually a website called pontiff.com so don't send them your CV as they're nothing to do with the pope!!

    It's just a line in a song, guys...sorry!

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  3. Fucking shit head. May you rot in hell for this. Where's your respect, you cunt?

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  4. Apparently, the same place as yours?

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  5. I fail to understand what possible pleasure you get out of rubbish like this. You clearly have a juvenile sense of humour and absolutely no respect for your betters. You should be ashamed of yourself. God will deal with you on your own 'judgement day' as you seem to think this is funny.

    It's pathetic. You are incapable of understanding all the good that the Catholic Church does in the world.

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  6. All blasphemers will burn in hell!

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  7. "all the good that the Catholic Church does"? Like the inquisition, the crusades, covering up child abuse. That sort of thing, you mean?

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  8. Have you ever noticed that all the most forceful opinions expressed on this subject are anonymous?

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  9. Well, all things considered, I think that went down rather well, don't you?

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  10. I'll give you a forceful opinion D, without the anonymity.

    I think that Catholics are a total load of cunts who should have the piss taken out of them at every opportunity. Kiddie fiddling, war mongering, gold thieves. If no-one had invented Islam they'd be the most hateful religious scum around.

    Anonytwat. There is no god. You're a fucking imbecile for believing there is. When you die you will be stuck in the ground and eaten by worms, end of. Grow the fuck up you imbecilic cretin.

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  11. I can't disagree with you Humph. I don't hate Catholics per se, I just think that all religion is superstitious claptrap and that the vast majority of clerics are total hypocrites.

    Unusual to see someone actually put his name to a comment on this subject. How refreshing, and thanks for bothering!

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  12. Go on and rap about the muslims the same way , see how long you last then

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  13. Hmmmm...... Actually, that's not such a bad idea.

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