Tuesday, 29 May 2012
93 Men in a Boat (15) : The Impressionist
The conversation always seems to start with the same question : "Have you been on this boat before?"
The answer is, of course, totally irrelevant because the impressionist really doesn't care. He's really only interested in a lead into a long, tedious monologue all about the sights he's seen and the places he's been to. The one we got was able to recall every single port of call of his previous six trips on this, admittedly, quite nice ship.
We let him waffle on a while until it became apparent that all of his previous voyages had been in Europe, so that let me in! "You don't do long haul, then?" I interject.
"But of course we do!" comes the indignant response and he proceeds to launch into a long list of his South American and Antipodean adventures. However, we did become a little suspicious when he told us that Hobart was in New Zealand and he mispronounced 'Mathew Pitchew'
Mrs D caught the corner of my eye and gave the sign : both hands palm down and the shrug - our secret sign for Tommy Cooper of whom there has also been many an impression.
We let him run out of breath and then left a long pregnant pause. Of course, nature abhors a vacuum and so, it seems, does the impressionist. Having exhausted his seemingly endless list of places, the next inevitable question comes out : "Have you travelled with this company before?"
"Yes", we reply. "This is our nineteenth trip" - at which point the conversation comes to an abrupt stop...
...just like that!