Wednesday, 25 April 2012
It's been a wee while - well, if I'm honest a very wee time - since I last had a holiday so I'm off for a a week or so on yet another boat trip...
Hopefully by the time I return there will actually be something worth talking about; something to raise the blood pressure. Because, let's be honest, things have been moving a little slowly lately!
So see you in a bit, and here's a little something I prepared earlier :
A tourist walked into a Brighton curio/antique shop. After looking around for a while, he noticed a very life-like bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but it was so striking that he decided to buy it anyway.
He took it to the owner and said: "How much is this bronze rat?".
The owner replied: "It's £12 for the rat, and £100 for the story."
The tourist gave the owner his £12 and said: "I'll just take the rat, you can keep the story."
As he walked off down the street, he noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of the sewers and begun following him. This was a little disconcerting, so he started to walk a little faster, but within a couple of blocks the swarm of rats had grown to hundreds, and they were all squealing and screeching in a very menacing way. He increased his speed and ran on towards the beach, and as he ran, he looked behind him and saw the rats now numbered in their MILLIONS, and they were running faster and faster.
By now very concerned, he ran to down the pier and threw the bronze rat far out into the water. Amazingly, the millions of real rats jumped into the water after it and were all drowned.
The man walked back to relate all this to the shop owner, who said: "Ah, you've come back for the story then?"
"No," said the tourist. "I came back to see if you've got a bronze Muslim fundamentalist cleric, a Man United supporter, an MP, and anything French!"