Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Living in a crowded house

Obviously having bugger all better to with their time, insurers LV have commissioned a report into property ownership in Britain which has concluded - quel surprise - that very few people can afford to own or rent a property the size they want in the area they desire to live in.

FFS! What's new?!?

In the good old days before total grasp of reality was lost in this country, we all knew this without having to commission a report to tell us. And guess what? Nothing has really changed in the meantime apart from peoples' expectations.

Pre the credit crunch, people got engaged and saved up together with building society to get together a deposit. They then got a mortgage, bought a flat as a couple most likely situated in a cheaper area than their parents. Then they worked their way up the property ladder as their prospects improved and their jobs progressed. This was not something you did on your own with a single income.

That was then. Now we expect to be able to start out on our own in a four bedroom house living in the same street as our parents. After all, this is part of our inalienable human rights. Well that's all bollocks, because real life just isn't like that...

Apparently LV also says that many space starved parents are squashed into 2 bedroom houses which were perfect when they were a couple but now have no space for their three or so children. Well, not only is it socially irresponsible to breed large families in the modern era, but it's also economically irresponsible to breed children you can't afford to support as well.

My grandfather was the second youngest of nine children, but in those day large families were the norm due to poor contraception and high infant mortality. Eleven of them lived in a two bedroom terraced house with no bathroom and a shared outside toilet. Now that's hardship - and they were lucky.

Apparently the 'correct size home' is one where the parents have their own bedroom and only children under 10 have to share. I also read recently that a government minister went on record as saying that homelessness was now defined as children having to share a bedroom. What utter tosh!

The pipe dream is that the house I would like to live in has 5 bedrooms en suite, an indoor pool, a gym, snooker room, bar, indoor bowling alley, 5 acres of grounds, garages for at least three cars and a view over the Thames in Central London.

The difference is that I don't confuse the pipe dream with reality...


  1. And I wouldn't mind betting the people from LV who commissioned or conducted the preparation of this report all went to university ..

    This is precisely the sort of cuntishness for which people get degrees nowadays ..

  2. They class homelessness as when two teenage children of opposite sexes have to share a bedroom

    Still bollocks though

  3. Just the sort of bollocks you expect from these wankers at university. There all the fucking same, can work out the viscosity of marmalade, but can't actually spread it on toast.



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