There's nothing quite like a bit of good old fashioned pretentious bullshit to get my piss boiling, if you'll forgive the mixed metaphors...
I have long been a fan of 'Pseuds Corner' in the Private Eye - although I don't read it these days since they nicked stuff my blog and refused to give me a by line - but this piece by Elisa Bray caught my eye (no pun intended).
The picture above shows a "one bedroom architectural installation in the shape of a small boat" perched on the roof of the Queen Elizabeth Hall on London's south bank. Apparently, the idea is to use the venue to host a series of "bedroom gigs" because this, it seems, "creates a different way of experiencing the music, adding ambiance and heightening the sense of occasion and often the acoustics - and ethereal quality lent to the performance by the creaking of old timber, shunted by the waves". FFS!
From the boat, performers are to use the "intimate surroundings of the boat" to "perform a different kind of show". Well certainly different, because "nobody will be actually attending the gigs - fans will have to watch the shows broadcast onto screens at the South Bank Centre or on-line". Apparently, the organisers are "looking for people who could be inspired by the space to shape what they did there". There is also "the opportunity to see artists perform in an intimate setting" and "the potential to shed new light on their music and to inspire new music".
One such artist, Imogen Heap, has apparently "an innovative approach to songwriting which is seeing her release each song from her upcoming album as she writes it".
Well, I'm a bit of a musical Philistine, so I asked my musical mate ChasC what he made of it all. He said "It's not that innovative an approach - I've been releasing my albums one track at a time as I wrote them for years. Just take a look at my blog."
And the boat on the roof? "Pretentious crap" he replied. "Seems to me it's just a way of getting an audience to pay more to watch someone playing live on TV. Perhaps I should put a camera in me shed and charge people to watch me tuning up?"
Nice idea, mate. Could be a money spinner...