What Religion is Your Bra?

A man walked into the ladies department at John Lewis. He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."

Now John Lewis are reknowned for their helpful and knowledgeable assistants, so she replied "What type of bra. sir?"

"Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?"

"Look around," she said as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable.

"Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from - Catholic, Salvation Army, Presbyterian, and Baptist. Which one would you prefer?"

Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them. The saleslady responded, "It is all really quite simple. .

The Catholic supports the masses;
The Salvation Army lifts the fallen;
The Presbyterian keeps them staunch and upright;
and The Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills."

The man then asked about various sizes and what the letters meant. "It's really quite simple," she replied, handing him a chart which read :

(A} Almost Boobs...
{B} Barely there...
{C} Can't Complain!...
{D} Dang!...
{DD} Double dang!......
{E} Enormous!...
{F} Fake...
{G} Get a Reduction....
{H} Help me, I've fallen over and I can't get up!...

In the end he bought a German bra called Holtzemfrumfloppen.


( Dioclese is sadly contemplating his return from Cyprus... )