Ethnic minorities and positive discrimination

The politically correct amongst you should leave now, because I am about to talk sense.

All this bullshit about ethnic minorities in Midsomer Murders (give me strength!) got me thinking...

Who is the most discriminated against ethnic minority in this country?

Is it women? No, because we have laws against sex discrimination and are encouraged to positively discriminate in favour of women.

Is it the blacks? No, because we have laws against discrimination on the grounds of race.

Is it the disabled? No, because it is illegal to discriminate against disabled people and we are encouraged to have quotas for employing them.

Is it the Jews or Muslims? No, because it is illegal to discriminate on the grounds of religion.

Is it former offender? No, because the government wants us to help rehabilitate former prisoners. 

Is it fat people? No, because if you are fat you will be given larger seats on planes and ambulances will be adapted to take your extra weight

Is it immigrants? No, because there are laws against discrimination on grounds of origin.

It's none of the above - So who is it then?

Well, I'll tell you who it is. It's me!

I am a slim, white, law abiding, able bodied, anglo saxon, CofE, male. I've got no fucking chance, because I have not one single solitary anti-discrimination law protecting me.

So what about me, Mr Cameron? Positive discrimination discriminates negatively against the other person!

Sammy Davis Jr. was once asked the secret of his success. He replied "I'm a one eyed black Jew. How could I fail?"

Too bloody true!

Chelsea and Arsenal go head to head

So, is it going to be Wenger or Ancelotti? Who's going to win the title?

No not THAT title!

Who is going to winning the title of "Britain's most boring man"?

Christ, every time I switch on the TV these days there's some boring bastard twittering on about the beautiful game of two halves. Having said that, these two are in a class of their own and in my view deserve an award for making watching paint dry look interesting.

Here's some gems :

"Well, you know, it was a game that anyone cound have won" - well, not me obviously because I wasn't playing.

"They are a good team and it will be a tight game because we are a good team too" - Jolly good!

"If we play as well as we can play then you know we can win unless they play better than us" - no shit, Sherlock

FFS, no wonder I always take the "Match of the Day" music as a signal to go to bed...

Those Miliband policies in full...

Following his address to the recent assembled cuts protestors in London, here's a list of the Mighty Milipede's policies in full...

1. Slag off the Tories
2. Slag off the LibDems
3. Slag off the Tory led Coalition
4. Complain about cuts
5. er...........
6. ........................that's it.

That penny off petrol...

Let's see if we can cut through the bullshit about petrol duty by taking an objective look at the pros and cons of Boy George's duty cut...

There's been a lot of hoo-hah about petrol stations putting up the cost of fuel on Wednesday morning just so they could put it down again in the afternoon and pocket the penny a litre. The retailers quite reasonably say that the 1p cut in duty won't actually be passed on untill they get their next delivery, because they already paid the 1p on the stock in their tanks. This is a perfectly reasonable argument.

However, this should mean that over the next few days prices start to come down. Call me a cycnic, but I will believe it when I see it.

And whilst we are on this subject, there is VAT on this duty at 20% so we should see prices go down by 1.2p per litre. Anyone like to place a bet on how many petrol stations will be displaying .7 instead of .9 at the end of their prices? Do let me know if you spot one.

Osbourne says he has cut duty by 6p a litre. Well sorry, George, but that's rubbish. You cannot claim that cancelling Labour's extra penny and not implementing the 4p escalator - for which, incidentally, the statutory requirement was abolished many years ago - is a cut. On that basis, I've cut the sale price of my car by £1,000 because I was going to ask £1,000 more. If you haven't added it yet, then not adding it is a fair point, but claiming it as a cut is arrant nonsense.

The retailers claim that the increase Wednesday morning was a coincidence because wholesale prices had risen anyway. I don't buy that. It's profiteering. It's treating us as mugs. Just like the energy companies, petrol retailers are quick to increase prices when the costs go up and slow to drop them when the costs go down. We fall for it every time because, frankly, we have no choice.

But with petrol we do. Some time ago there was a campaign to boycott the largest suppliers and force them to lower their prices. I think this is a good idea. Let's pick one - say, BP - and see what happens when their forecourts are empty.

I'd like to think this would work, but I expect that the great British public will do what they always do - go down the pub for a pint and a good moan...

Rich people need God too

As more church-goers tire of spending holidays in the Third World, churches are taking a break from poverty and targeting the luxury class with the gospel.

"Our worldview had gotten too narrow," says one pastor. "Rich people need Jesus, too."

One ministry sent a missions team to boutiques in Milan’s fashion district. The group reached out to watchmakers, jewelry store workers and super-wealthy patrons. "People who were never interested in missions trips are jumping at the chance to go," says the pastor. "Salespeople will tolerate a lot of evangelizing if you are committed to buying a diamond necklace or a watch."

"I feel useless in poor places, but I found I fit very well in wealthier environments. Striking up spiritual conversations at the perfume counter is right up my alley."

Pastor Brent Keefauver says his congregation in Miami was suffering from "poverty fatigue" because of the malnutrition and generally dismal motif most missions trips offer, so he started the Yahweh Yacht Club Ministry to reach a neglected global constituency — yacht owners. The church rented a 40-foot sloop for missions trips. The waiting list to go is now five years long.

"As an unreached people group, the rich have to be handled differently," says the group leader. "But they’re just as needy as anyone else. They’re intrigued that evangelical Christians are suddenly appearing in their world."

On the beaches of Bermuda, the team from Open Bible Church says wealthy holiday makers are open to spiritual conversations, especially after they’ve had several drinks. One team member breathlessly recounts evangelizing the vice president of "some big tech company" at the pool bar. "Nothing against the poor people we evangelized last year, but this time we’re influencing influencers," she says.

At a super-luxury resort, one man roams the pool deck wearing a big t-shirt that declares, "Jesus Made Me Rich." When people comment on it, he replies that Jesus made him rich in heavenly blessings, then quickly goes into his testimony.

"Last year I was hefting cinder blocks, trying to relate to orphans and sleeping in a church with no roof," he says. "But now I’ve found my calling."
 
(Full story can be found here)

International Climate Week

Did you know that this week was International Climate Week? No.? Well, until I saw it on the BBC breakfast programme yesterday morning, nor did I.

Apparently, Monday 21 March 2011, marked the start of the UK’s first ever Climate Week. It is a new national occasion, backed by the Prime Minister, has-been eco knobhead Al Gore and celebrities such as Paul McCartney, as well as "a huge number of people and organisations from every part of society".

Climate Week apparently provides an opportunity to raise awareness and highlight and inspire innovative ideas which will help protect our planet and the people who live on it. As far as I can see it has failed spectacularly!

Basically, it's a bit of touchy feely bullshit thought up by the Department for International Development. You can read about it by clicking here. I especially like the flash at the head of the site where it thanks 'British Taxpayers' which I found particularly offensive. No bugger asked me if they could give my money away at a time when I need it myself.

Apparently this amazingly inconspicuous set of events is sponsored by Tesco, Kelloggs, French energy supplier EDF (Hmmmm...is this appropriate?) and RBS which you will remember is also funded by the taxpayer. Still, it did get an award for "Best Initiative for a Government or Statutory body (see here) as did HM Revenue and Customs for "making environmental targets a departmental priority.

I am tempted to say that collecting tax from loads of people who haven't paid up might be a better priority for HMRC because, after all, they haven't contributed to this piece of pathetic self aggrandisement - it's just us mugs...

The Great Olympic Ticket Fiasco

Personally, I always thought that Seb Coe - sorry, Lord Coe - was a not very bright bloke who landed a peerage and a plumb job by brown nosing to Tony Blair. Apparently, he is now proving it!

The sale of 2010 Olympic tickets has got to be the worst thought out piece of organisation that we have seen for many a year. And that's saying something. I'll explain why -

Let's assume that you actually want to attend the crock of shite known as the 2012 Olympics. Let's further assume that you want to go three times to a selection of 'sessions' (you don't get a day ticket).

So you go to the web site and buy three lots of tickets? Er, no. Too simple. You say which tickets you want and give them your plastic details, and they then decide in a month or so which tickets you will actually be allocated and then take the money

So, you've decided when and where you want to go and you've organised the tickets? Er, no. You might not get the tickets you want. In fact, you might not get allocated any at all.

So in order to have a good chance of going three times, you pick a whole selection of dates and times and you apply for your maximum allocation of 20 in the hope you will get 3 you actually like. And this is where the stupidity comes in...

Let's assume that your hunt for 3 lots of tickets has resulted in you getting 10, so now you have 7 you don't want. Too bad because they charged you for them and have your money.

The plan is that you now can sell these tickets back to the organisers at face value and they will then sell thenm them on to someone else. But not until next year sometime. So, you have just loaned the government your hard earned cash for a year at no interest.

Of course, if the Olympic sellers had just let you book on line on a first come first served basis, you would know exactly where you were, have the tickets you wanted on the day you wanted them, and they would still have sold all the tickets - and saved a shed load of admin costs on taking them back and reselling them.

And why have they decided to do it this way? Well, Lord Coe says it's fairer and ensures that people have a better chance of getting tickets. Of course, he's very concerned at the hits on the website and is impressed with the speed the tickets are being snapped up.

Like I said - not very bright!

Rotten Boroughs - Hammersmith & Fulham

Spot the difference :

Yes! You're right! The one on the left is a Afghan and the other is a couple of dogs (of war!)...

Hammersmith and Fulham Council is effected by the cuts just like everyone else and has been forced to close down the premises used by the Afghani Council so that it can use them for a new Free School.

However, it did try to be helpful. On a list of alternative support services, the Council suggests people should contact the Southern Afghan Club – a group set up by owners of Afghan hounds.

Priceless...

Royal Wedding souvenirs

As our range of Papal Visit Souvenirs was so well received last year, here's a selection form our range of memorabilia for the forthcoming Royal nuptials...

How would you dress the Royal Couple for their big day?

This super dress up dolly book contains all you need to make the couple look simply spiffing at the Abbey, at the party and even contains some saucy little outfits for their big night.

Made from quality cardboard, it's also eco-friendly so it won't offend the father of the Groom.

Yours for a tasteful £4.99

OK - so maybe you weren't born with a silver spoon in your mouth like the happy couple, but why not treat yourself to a pair now.

Emblazoned with Wills and Kate's pictures, what better souvenir for a give away price of £19.99



Why not have a drink on Wills and Kate?

Royal beer mats to make your party go with a swing. Comes with a pack of waterproof crayons for that essential 'pencil on a moustache' moment that we all love after a few pints.

£24.99 a pack of 50


Every little - and not so little - girl out there would just love to be Kate's bridesmaid on the big day...

Well now you can pretend with this super make believe book. Choose your outfit, pick the flowers, colour it all in.

Make believe you were really there for just £9.99






Rekindle memories of your own first night together with this, the crowning glory of our special range.

This quality unisex T-shirt is tastefully decorated and adorned with a photograph of the bride and groom. The logo is specially selected to reflect what we all wish for them.

A bargain at only £19.99



Supreme Leader's pre-budget statement

Comrades,

Tomorrow, the right-wing led government will be spreading more lies about the economic future of our country!

You must not allow them to take reckless gambles with the future of our great nation. Only I, your Supreme Leader, have the policies to ensure we return to the halcyon days we enjoyed under Comrade Blair.

The way out of recession is to spend money to create jobs, not to cut spending and jobs.

I will raise billions of pounds and create hundreds of thousands of jobs for our downtrodden workers. I will cut taxes at a stroke, freeing the working classes from oppression.

I will increase house building for the less well off by 25,000 homes a year, abolish VAT on petrol, and restore funding to our embattled local authorities.

Comrade Balls has shown me how easily we can afford to do this. Of course, I cannot reveal our detailed policies at this stage in case this wicked government steals our ideas and presents them as their own. You know that this has happened in the past and we must not allow it to happen again!

Keep the faith, comrades, and the future will be fair for all!

Your Supreme Leader

Coalition strength Cillit Bang

Speaks for itself...

Cardinal cock of the week

Another Sunday, another bloody interfering priest...

This is Cardinal Keith O'Brien, yet another Catholic who thinks that being a Papist entitles him to stick his nose into politics and tell the governement what to do. The Cardinal accused the Foreign Secretary of doubling overseas aid to Pakistan to more than £445 million without demanding religious freedom for Christians and other religious minorities, such as Shia Muslims.

He claimed that three-quarters of all religious persecution in the world is now directed at Christians, resulting in a collapse in the number of followers in some Middle East countries. On the other hand of course, it could just be that they simply don't like what you are peddling?

He went on to say "In countries like Afghanistan, Pakistan and Iraq, Christians face violence, intolerance and even death because of their beliefs.” Hardly surprising as they are not Christian countries and have put up with centuries of Catholic missionaries trying to show them the error of their ways. Perhaps I should mention the Crusades at this point?

I support freedom of worship - provided it doesn't include you ramming your views down my throat - but it's not right to use aid to enforce it in other countries.

The church is the church. The government is the government. Our government does not insist on people holding specific views in the UK and it is quite wrong to use aid money to blackmail other countries' governments into doing things our way.

( You can read the full story in the Daily Telegraph by clicking here )

New Apple product launched

Apple today launched the perfect present for the lady in your life - a breast implant that can store and play music.

The iBoob will cost from £299 to £499, depending on cup and speaker size.

This is considered a major social breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

Red Nose, my arse!

Yes, it's Red Nose Day and as you might gather from the picture above, I am not a fan.

Frankly, the whole thing leaves me cold. Not only am I suffering from charity overload (Christchurch appeal, Japan, etc etc) but I just don't find it funny. Last year I wrote a piece called "Are you 'avin' a larf?" about the declines in comedy. I've not changed my views.

Tonight we will be subjected to yet another load of purile crap on the telly urging us to give our hard earned dosh away to a load of third world dictators all in the name of helping people whose own governments are too corrupt to help them in the first place.

As we have seen from the uprisings in northern Africa lately, people are at last beginning to realise what has been going on and have had enough of it. This, in my view, has got to be a good thing for the local populations. Far better, anyway, than being patronised by a bunch of so called funny people.

On a personal note, a few years ago I was doing a contract job for the Post Office. On Red Nose Day, I was accosted by a bunch of the permanent staff - who should have been working? - standing outside the entrance to the offices and refusing to let anyone in who did not put £5 in their bucket.

I told them to fuck off then, and I will be doing the same today...

Olympic medal targets

OK, here's simple question. How much would you pay for one of these?

These are Olympic Medals and in less than 500 days the monumentally pointless waste of public money known as the 2012 London Olympics will be under way. So what better way to prove that 13 years of Labour misrule have taught us bugger all, than to set some targets?

Apparently targets are good. Targets enable us to measure performance and to ensure that we are getting value for money. At the last count the Olympics are costing us, the taxpayer, £9,300,000,000 for the venue alone. That's £155 per person. They took mine. I was never asked.

And have you seen the Soviet style accomodation blocks they reckon are going to end up as desirable housing!??!

But let's not go there...

Instead, let's look at the targets. Sport UK says they are setting a target of 31-60 medals for the main games. UK Sport says that £100,000,000 has been 'invested' in our athletes with 2012 in mind. This puts us in the top 3 sports 'investors' in the world.  So here's some simple maths. If we get 60 medals - which I find find frankly unlikely - then each medal will have cost every single person in Britain an 'investment' of £1.65.

Frankly, I'd rather invest mine in a cup of coffee...

Small town music night

Do you live in a small English town? If you do then you should really relate to this song. You might even know some of the people that feature in it...

New Balls

He's at it again! It really is time that the Milipede put the muzzle on his Rotweiller, especially if he is going to sink as low as this...

Yesterday, Balls decided that the best way to attack the Chancellor ahead of next week's budget was to play the Japan card. This what he said :

It won't be good enough if George Osborne stands up next week in the Budget and says the reason he has to downgrade his growth forecast is the cold winter, or the Irish bailout or because of the spike in world oil prices or the aftermath of the Japanese earthquake.

Frankly Ed, this is bad taste even for you.

Balls has a reputation for putting his foot in his mouth pretty much every time he opens it. His comments have been called 'insensitive' and 'insulting to the Japanese people'. It's hard to disagree.

Tory MP Aidan Burley summed it up nicely : "It seems very distasteful to be pre-empting a comment George has not made and almost certainly won't make. It must be a new low for a shadow Chancellor to think the Chancellor would blame an 8.8 earthquake in Japan as in some way responsible for a decade of Labour mismanagement of the economy."

Labour of course said they had made a fair point about not been distracted by external events and that Balls had said 'nothing wrong'. The Milipede has kept a low profile on the matter. Frankly appointing this man as his Shadow Chancellor hardly shows good judgement...

The Dear Gill Letters (7)

Busy, busy, busy...

How wonderful to see you and your lovely hubby at Florrie's christening the other day. So glad you could come! I only wish we'd had more time to chat , but you know how it is these days - everybody wants to be seen with us, chat with us, be photographed with us! It's such a drag...

Dave's been a bit up to his eyes with it lately. After we had to cancel our holiday to Egypt at least he got the consolation prize with a trip to the Middle East. Embarassing though how the Libya thing all blew up when it did thought, what with Nick off skiing only Willy Vague was there to take the reins. Still the way it all turned out, just as well he was around to cop the blame really.

Have you got your invite to the wedding yet? I'm sorry we couldn't wangle you a better seat but up the back was the best we could do. They did suggest putting up a big screen in Hyde Park for the people we couldn't squeeze in but I thought that would be just SO tacky. Almost like a two tier invite system - although one of Dave's advisors thought it might be a good spot for Miliband. Sort of put him properly in his place, if you get what I mean?

I'm having such a problem with choosing my outfit. Even my trip to LFW hasn't really helped. Several of the fashion houses have offered freebies but what with the hoo-hah over Galliano, it's like a minefield. You turn one down in favour of another and next you know he's up to his neck in a scandal! I'm still not sure if he was serious, but Dave suggested we should be seen to be 'all in it together' and I should get something from Marks and Sparks, but I don't think so, do you? You can bet your bottom dollar Kate won't be getting hers there!

Big Society, my eye! It's High Society for me!

No religion on the census

As my regular leader will testify, I like to tackle religious issues on a Sunday and none more topical than one that also involves the forthcoming census!

The British Humanist Association - of whom it has frequently been said "Who?" - is running an advertising campaign to tell people who aren't religious to say so on the census. You can even go their web site and sign a pledge. Wowza!...

The theology think tank Theos has criticised the campaign as 'misconceived' and 'unnecessary'.

The BHA was forced to change its original campaign slogan 'If you’re not religious, for God’s sake say so’, after the Committee of Advertising Practice advised that it could cause "widespread" and "serious" offence. The campaign is targetted at people who might tick the 'Christian' box in answer to the question 'What is your religion?', even though they are not practising Christians and would not normally go to church.

Now, let's put this in perspective :

I'm not religious and I don't go to church. In fact, I despise organised religions although I'm not an atheist. I might be a bit on the agnostic side, but only because my concept of God and an afterlife doesn't include heaven and hell and a man with a big white beard. I do, however, believe in the principals of Christianity so would most likely describe myself as christian (note the small 'c') even though I don't believe Christ was the son of God.

I'm not easily offended, and certainly cannot see how the wording of this advertisement could possiby cause widespread and serious offense to anyone with a brain bigger than the size of a pea.

I'm also not stupid. I do not need some half baked moron to tell me what to fill in on a census form.

I do however agree with one statement made by these idiots - this campaign is absolutely unnecessary! Especially as the question about religion is clearly marked 'optional'...

Alan Duncan - That's rich!

Remember this twat?


The Rt Hon Alan Duncan MP, Minister of State for the Department for International Development, will be addressing issues surrounding public financial management, transparency, accountability and value for money at an international conference organised by the Chartered Institute of Public Finance and Accountancy in London on 15th March.

Hang on, though! Isn't this the same Alan Duncan who was forced to repay £4,000 in expenses he shouldn't have claimed in the first place? Isn't this the same Alan Duncan who famously proclaimed that MPs were "treated like shit" and had to "live on rations"?

Isn't it a bit rich to ask this man to talk at a conference about "Trust and Accountability in Public Financial Management"?

And even more amazingly, what the fuck is he doing in the government handling International Development, possibly the most unaccountable department of all?

Europe in 2029

I don't know about you, but I find this video very disturbing...

The Census is coming...

In a few weeks time, the census for 2011 will be dropping through your letter box. Frankly, it doesn't seem like five minutes since we did the last one but I guess that's just a sign of old age.

I have mixed feelings about the census. As I have an interest in family history, I have to say that the censuses from 1811 through 1911 have been very useful in my researches and have enabled me to trace ancestors that I otherwise would never have found.

There's also something fascinating about those old Victorian censuses filled in with their quaint old script. The 1911 was the first one filled in by the householder, so for the first time I was able to see my grandfather's handwriting. But I digress...

This is the age of the computer, and if you really want to screw things up, then get a computer! With a computer it is possible to collect and collate vast amounts of information - most of it meaningless and useless - which it would otherwise have been impossible to gather. This census will be 32 pages long and will take about 40 minutes to fill in. This is ludicrous. It is information for the sake of it. Imagine trying to do all that by hand with a quill pen. Impossible.

But that is the point. In olden times - before computers - we placed value on information and only collected what we really needed. Time is money and census collecting took lots of man hours.

There seems to be a growing backlash this time around about the quantity and intrusive nature of the information being collected. For example, do we really need information on racial origin when we have laws that say racial discrimination is illegal? Is it really any business of the state what our sexual persuasion is? Why do you want to know my religion?

It is tempting to fill in these returns with the contempt that some of these questions deserve. On the other hand, in a hundred years time, do I really want my great grandchildren to think I was a complete idiot because of some of my answers.

Perhaps that's the way to do it. Think of it as a message for your descendants and answer it accordingly...

Smokey drinkey music

To celebrate National No Smoking Day, this song is dedicated to my friends Leg Iron, BilloTheWisp and the Filthy Engineer as well as all the rest of you out there who like a smoke and a drink and don't like being told what is good for you...

Best enjoyed with a pair of headphones and the volume full up!

HELP! I agree with Miliband

I find my self in the uncomfortable position of agreeing with Ed Miliband - a man whom I despise and would never vote for if my life depended on it!

In an article in the Guardian which you can read here, the Mighty Milipede argues that a vote for AV is a change in the right direction. He says :

AV offers an opportunity for political reform, ensuring the voice of the public is heard louder than it has been in the past. And given the standing of politics that is an opportunity we should take. It is a system that combines the direct representation of first-past-the-post with one that will make the votes of more people count.

The fact is that the present system is flawed. True, AV is also flawed but it is a better system and maintains the link between the MP and the constituency which full PR would destroy.

I believe that if we combined it with compulsory voting with a positive abstention as is the way in Australia, then we would have a considerably better system of electing our MPs.

That's a fight for another day, but at least a 'Yes' vote for AV would be a good first step.

Another message from the Supreme Leader

Comrades,

Once again the Great Dictator has played into our hands!

In his propaganda speech in Taffland he has given us the amunition we need to expose his lies and deceit! He speaks of enterprise and opportunity, but we know that only I, your Supreme Leader, can deliver this.

We must take the ill gotten gains from the capitialists and redistribute them to the ordinary working man who is in such desperate need. We will do this by setting up enterprise zones led by handed picked party officials who know exactly how wealth should be redistributed to those who truly deserve it!

We must not allow this right wing government to build up a new employer class to exploit us! Only the party is fit to control the wealth of this great nation as it should be controlled. We must never again allow the fat cats to control our future!

The wicked and unnecessary cuts that this government is forcing upon us are beginning to hurt us all. I say to you "Man the barricades! Smash down the institutions of the oppressors!" The only way forward is to empower the working man. Only he can lead us once again unto the promissed land!

Your Supreme Leader

Gay marriage isn't real

Here we go again - another bloody priest who doesn't play the game making the rules!

The government is debating whether to change the legal definition of arriage to include same sex couples.

Above is Archbishop Smith of Southwark. He has announced that the Catholic Church will "be opposing such a change in the strongest terms". He goes on to say :

It is a lifelong commitment of a man and a woman to each other, publicly entered into, for their mutual well-being and for the procreation and upbringing of children. No authority – civil or religious – has the power to modify the fundamental nature of marriage.

Well that's all very well, but you just contradicted yourself, Bish. The law is the law and if Parliament decides that same sex marriages will have the same legal status as mixed sex marriages, then like it or lump it that is the law and the Church cannot opt out.

But you cannot then go on to to say that 'no religious authority' has the right to decide and then go right ahead and do it!

The crux of this issue is not religious. What it's about is that if the Catholic Church defies the law by disciminating against the marriage of gay couples, then they could very well be sued for refusing to marry them.

Will no-one rid us of these turbulent priests?

Politically correct

With a name like PC Air you might be tempted to think that this is a wind up...

The Thai airline has decided that it will employ ladyboys as flight attendants. They are, after all, quite common in Thailand and after advertising for staff, the airline was swamped with applicants by transvestites and transexuals.

The airline said that the qualifications for the ladyboy flight attendants were the same as for female flight attendants, with the additional provisos that they be like women in how they walk and talk, and have a feminine voice and the right attitude. The Thai Department of Civil Aviation says it has no problem with the policy and the airline says it may well hire some more from the 'third gender'.

I don't know about you, but I find this a little queer...

Immigrants oppose immigration

A new survey has revealed that more Asians than whites believe that immigration to this country must be stemmed.

Research commissioned by the Searchlight Educational Trust found that 39 per cent of Asians, 34 per cent of whites and 21 per cent of blacks believe that immigration should be halted either permanently or at least until the UK's economy was back on track.

Almost half of those questioned, 48 per cent, were open to supporting a new far-right party as long as it eschewed 'fascist imagery' and did not condone violence. And 52 per cent agreed that ‘Muslims create problems in the UK’.

So it would seem on the face of it that the Labour party were right to brand the people of this country who opposed immigration as bigots - but the bit it seems to have got badly wrong is that an awful lot of the bigots are not caucasian Brits!

Surely, this is clear case of the pot calling the kettle black?

(You can read a fuller report by clicking here.)

Product Placement

Sad news this week that the quality of our commercial television programs is going to degrade even further as product placements are to be allowed on our screens.

But as picture below clearly shows, some people have been doing this for years!

Can you spot the six products placed in the above picture?

But on a more serious note, do we really want to be bombarded with strategically placed products on our screens? It's one thing to allow programme makers to use recognisable products in their sets, but quite another to so deliberately position them in such a contrived manner.

And how long will it be before they allow the dialog to mention well known brands?

And the daftest idea of the lot is to place a logo on the corner of the screen to draw our attention to the fact that there is a product being advertised somewhere in what you are looking at! For God's sake, it's hard enough to find anything on television worth watching as it is without trying to ignore this sort of crap as well.

I for one never watch anything live on a commercial channel. I record it and then fast forward through the adverts. Life is too short to spend a third of every hour sat in front of the TV watching adverts. But if they allow placement, then the programs just become one long advert.

It's the start of a very slippery slope...


(Here's a thought, why don't we just have hour long advertisements split up by 8 minutes of programmes. Oh! Hang on! I forgot - they already did that. It's called the Shopping Channel.)

The Welsh parliament

March 3rd is a big day for the Welsh Assembly.

A referendum is to held to ask the people of the principality to vote for increased devolved powers for the Assembly, including tax raising powers similar to Scotland and the power to make decisions without prior approval from Westminster.

I have mixed feelings about this.

On the one hand, it is a bloody silly idea that every time the Assembly makes a decision in the areas in which they have devolved powers, they have to be referred to Westminster for a committee to decide whether they are appropriate. Effectively this hands London a veto over everything Cardiff wants to do. So what is the point of devolving powers under these conditions? It's silly and it just creates expensive and unnecessary bureaucracy.

Having said that, on the other hand we did ask Scotland and Wales whether they wanted their own Parliaments. Scotland grasped the nettle and went for it and on the whole this appears to be working quite well. But Wales bottled it and took the wishy-washy option of an Assembly. In effect this is just a big council with limitted authority.

So now they want to put things right and have another vote, although they seem careful not to rebrand this a parliament..

But from what I have seen on the news, the biggest problem seems to be finding anyone in Wales who knows what the issues are, or indeed gives a toss anyway. I expect a low turnout...

Aid no longer required

Blimey! A British Prime Minister who is actually prepared to make a U-turn! Shurely not...

Well - as usual nothing is quite the same as the headline. The headline is that a major review has been completed which has resulted in Britain no longer giving taxpayer money to countries that don't need it.

The review was ordered by International Development Secretary Andrew Mitchell and. as you might suspect, he's not going to put himsef out of a job. Apparently sixteen countries have been identified as no longer in poverty and so they will no longer get our money. They include Russia, China, Vietnam, Cambodia, Moldova, Bosnia, Iraq, Kosovo and Serbia.

Quite why were giving aid to Russia in the first place eludes me, but I digress...

Read on - Aid to India will be 'frozen'. Well, that'll bugger up their space program and nuclear power station building!

However, vast amounts of extra money - 30 per cent of the entire aid budget - will be pumped into unstable terrorist hotspots such as Yemen and Somalia, in a bid to help them to crack down on citizens exporting violence. Can I point out that the Yemenis seem to be keeping their violence at home at the moment.

So the aid budget is still ringfenced - it's just that we've decided to not give to some countries who don't need it and give to other countries that don't need it instead...

The total amount being spent on aid will soar from £7billion to £11billion in 2015 - at the same time as front-line public services here at home are being slashed.

Mr Mitchell said the plan was to 'buy results' rather than 'lob money at problems' - that is setting targets and stopping aid if they are not met. He is also likely to order the removal of funding from international organisations which have not delivered. For example, the £12million given to UN cultural body Unesco is likely to be axed.

'From now on we will only give aid where we can follow the money and ensure that the British taxpayer is getting value for money,' he said.

Sorry, old son, but as far as I can see, the British taxpayer is getting fuck all for his money!