Prove to the bad boys that you're a good girl with these I Love the Pope knickers! When it gets right down to it, you know that sex before marriage is a big no no for us catholics and he's going to think twice before trying to rip these off of you!
Protect your virginity for just £22.99
And if the previous item just didn't do it for you, then better safe than sorry with these Benedict Condoms.
Available in five fruity flavours, there's a reminder from his Holiness on each packet that this really isn't what you should be doing. But then we all give in to a little temptation now and again...
Packet of 5 just £12.99
And if you're feeling tired and worn out after all that illicit sex you shouldn't be having, what could be better than a nice cold beer?
Brewed especially to help you celebrate the papal vist, why not relax with a pint or two of Pope's Special Ale.
Available for a limited period on draught at selected churches or order a six pack from us for only £11.99 - Hmmmm. that's nice...
Let's face it, there's nothing worse than the lingering smell of sweat and beer.
So if you don't want your parents or even your kids or partner to know what you've been up to, just fire up these delightful hand moulded incense scented Pope Benedict Candles...
Cover up all your sins for only £19.99
Just pull down on the staff and the cassock spreads and lifts to reveal a nicotine erection down below - if you get my drift...
And that's not all! Flip back the head to reveal a cigarette lighter.
Raise your spirits for just £39.99
(PS. Here's a little competition for you : Which of these past three days' items are real and which are not? See how many you can get right! Answers on Friday.)